the good in fatigue.

The state of being tired and overwhelmed also inhibits an essence of soul searching. Where one goes into the depths of the inners and discovers a whole new world of being.. and that it is all within ourselves.

Lately, amidst my clock ticking too fast and and days molding into things that just happen to all end in the letter Y, I have strangely found time to be profound. In my head that is. The recent conversations with friends, with family, with society and with myself have brought me gratitude of who I am, what I do and everything in history that makes that possible.

I have made impactful decisions that, as an individual and being the purveyor of my own future and how that shapes out, I will take the bull by the horns and let it take me whichever way the bull decides. I am seeking to develop the self. I am selfish. No I do not want kids now. And hopefully my aspiration to become a single father with a surrogate mother (hopefully someone I am fond of already) will come about, but not now. I aim to travel. To see the world and to experience every which angle the world provides and to taste the nectar of every which fruit that crosses my path. I have no boundaries and I am invincible.

...or I am dreaming and going crazy?

Ready, Set, SPLIT...

Being back in the office at Gemin-i.org feels like never having left. Although new faces surround and whelm the space in the office, the feel and culture that I was very fond of has not changed. One day before re-embarking on the ferry boat across the chunnel to Calais and I can think of nothing more than the Cold Play, Viva la Vida song that was on repeat the last time I took the daunting trip... the first 20 seconds of the song can only sound enticing the first 12 times.

Since being in London I have felt like I am at home. Few things here and there that I have forgotten but only required a slight reminder to reacknowledge... for example that cars come on the opposite direction, that many consonants are forgotten when speaking in British English and that its bloody expensive!!! Otherwise I am fending well and feeling closer to the Queen than ever.

In the meantime I trick myself into thinking that I am still in Santa Barbara by wearing shorts, Toms and a t-shirt... all the while the rain is shooting down from the sky like sharp arrows in a Native American battle.

Here's to Cali and bringing a little bit of it to the UK and Europe.

London in clear sight...

Well if it is anything like I am used to when I lived there... The forecast states rain. If there is anything that I am more excited about and that I really miss is the frequency of conversations that I had on the topic of weather and how you can rally beat a dead horse on one sole topic... The rain!

I anticipate that as usual I will regain a bit of an accent and will start saying things like cheers and mate on a regular basis.

It feels like only yesterday I was still living there and after 8 months of being back in the US I often find myself thinking that its only a small time frame that disconnects me from my previous stamps on my passport. Well... Here they go again.


PS evesdropping makes for some interesting conversation starters... Especially at the airport when people think no one is listening.