The end of this cycle

Every so often we have the opportunity to reflect on life and see what we have made of it, where we are at with it, and where we want to take it next. This past year has been one that will undoubtedly go down in the books as another good one, but it will also be one when looking back that will be remembered as a pivotal year for life changes.

2010 started off with a short exploration of a new culture in Peru. I had the gracious opportunity to travel with two great friends to an unknown land to me. Not only was the opportunity to visit fantastic, but the people I traveled with and the people I met there will remain in my soul and heart for ever. Bringing in the new year in Cusco with our friends the Argentinians, Peruvians and all the other strangers from around the world was a moment not to forget, and not just because we were in a foreign land.

Over the course of the year Santa Barbara, CA started becoming more and more like home. Having been away from CA for 5 years and not living anywhere for more than 11 months (London) I started to get the itch to leave Santa Barbara at around the year mark. This worked in an opposite form. I started gaining more responsibility at work, I started becoming comfortable with my living situation and I was settling into the neighborhood (i.e Melrose Place). How could I leave?

Mid year 2010 I had a roommate swap. Barbara moved out and Mike moved in. Change is good and nothing in life is constant nor forever. Summer for Melrose Place was themed "Slut it Up!" and although there was very, very little of anything related to the theme going on, at least for me- I felt as though the summer months were all a vacation with good friends on a seaside town... game nights, dinner parties, spontaneous adventures, hikes, and ultimately good memories.

As work continued to pick up steam, my role continued to develop to set me up towards acquiring more responsibility towards year-end. During the third quarter of the year a time of intensive reflection came upon me. That is when this blog became more prevalent, when I injured my knee during my marathon training and when yoga became a common thread in my life. This has allowed to be more intentional with life and my actions. It has allowed me to explore me and really get to know Javier Moreno a whole lot better. Things are shaping up. I dont think I know every bit of me yet, but I sure am working hard at doing so.


This brings me to present day and I continue to be in love with my life. Many people have commented that they wish they had my life and I would question back, "why?". Im starting to come to terms with the fact that I do lead a pretty darn good life. I have great family and friends. I have a great job and great co-workers. I live in a beautiful city. I enjoy good food and drink. Above all else, I realize that I am happy with life as a whole and that allows me to enjoy the present day so much more. I still have a lot of reality to come to terms with and a lot of excavating of myself.

For this very reason of wanting to find out more I am setting myself up with a few resolutions for the new year.

1. I will be more intentional and authentic in my actions
2. I will reflect on my daily activity through this blog and other means
3. I will get to know my subconscious self and start to visit with my dreams
4. I will assess my career and career path more holistically
5. I will be more conscious about what goes into my body
6. I will be more conscious about the environmental impact I have on the world and aim to influence others to do the same
7. I will connect with old friends and write more letters to mail to them
8. Most importantly, I will strive to maintain happiness day in and day out.

I am well aware that sometimes things don't work out as planned, and in those cases it's rolling with the punches. Everything happens for a reason and its about accepting truth and reality with arms wide open.

2011 will be a good year and I look forward to the growth that will happen in the years ahead.


Happy New Year.

Jm

Feeling better when you already feel good

There are some days that don’t seem like they can get any better. You are thoroughly enjoying your company. You reflect on your day and you feel damn good. You have great conversation and it is meaningful. And then, things get better… Is that normal? Does that ever really happen? Well I can attest to this.

All signs reading “go”, all lights turned green and energy is flowing positively when I make an effort to connect with an elderly woman that was sitting next to me on a flight back to Santa Barbara. I overheard when she told another woman that she was from Mexico. I thought this would be a more than appropriate topic to connect on and surely it was. This woman resulted in having the most of uplifting spirits and in more than one way did she reiterate the need to look at things positively.

We shared various stories related to travel, politics, family and the like, all of which resulted in my reassurance that having a positive outlook on things is truly rewarding. This woman who was in her 80’s and potentially even a relative (as her name was Isabel Moreno) provided me with reinforcement for true and authentic carpe diem, all in the context of great conversation.

Isabel bid farewell to both of us who were sitting next to her and mentioned that taking this opportunity to have a short lived relationship was a great blessing to her. I agreed.

In the recent past, I have come across individuals and moments that have initiated a thought process of holistic assessment of things and in a way allowed for me to “set a precedent” to keep a positive outlook. I have not read my horoscope lately, but I feel like the cosmos are in a particular formation causing for Pisces to have plentiful reflection and opportunity to keep a positive outlook on situations. I welcome more of this, whatever it is that is happening right now.

The guy at the bar

Being true to yourself is not always easy. Sometimes it is one of the most difficult, yet revealing things that we can do: being true and honest with oneself. In the last few days I have embarked on a detox program, that truly is not that extreme in terms of guidelines, but it does push your limits. My menu does not currently include many of the things that it normally does for my regular diet before I started this program (wine and beer, cheese, chocolate bars, bread) so in having recently hone out to public places, I have had to conform my menu to theirs.

While at a mellow neighborhood bar in Santa Barbara this past weekend, I was offered a beer many times. Thanks, but I am okay. Eventually I found my way to the bar and while listening to the wondrous beats of Sleighbells (whom I only recently discovered), I decided tea would be my cuppa that night. Chamomile tea, please! I pulled the Scrabble board game that was sitting on the game shelf in the bar and proceeded to create various 3-4 letter words.

Other times, I am tossing back G&Ts or IPAs and carrying on conversations left and right. I eat peanuts to compliment whatever I am drinking. This time: I was almost at a point of meditation while at a bar outing. It was NICE. I was with good company and mentally stimulating myself on a Friday night without the "traditional" desire to spend $50 on inebriating substances.

While this experience was only the first of many, I am sure. I found that I was "that guy" sitting at the bar, sipping away at my tea while most others were getting canned on wine and beer. It was even harmonious to be doing such an act that was a little more foreign to me. I plan to continue being that guy who orders tea... and secretly wishing he was having a glass of wine.

When change happens...

Recently I have found myself surrounded by change. Loose change in my pockets, the leaves on trees starting to change slightly in color, co-workers being let go, my little sister getting engaged, getting to know myself better through exploring that which I connect with, watching and feeling the weather get cooler... it's all relevant change.

It is when this change happens and how we react to it that makes a big difference. I spoke to my father this evening and after a little while of shooting the shit we were about to hang-up and then I interrupted with an inquiry as to his feelings regarding the recent engagement. Now my father has never really been one to show emotion. I can count on my fingers the number of times I have really seen the emotional heart of my dad. His response to my question resembled his common state of being: neutral. I pushed him to expose himself a bit. I want to see him really be into what he was thinking, but he digressed.

We all make decisions to not fully involve ourselves in life experiences to our full extent, if we did pour all of our energy, heart and soul into everything we did every single day, either we would be extremely drained and really tired, or we would need to slow WAY down. Nonetheless, my feeling is that in this "fast paced" life many of us live in (whether we want to or not) we have to choose our battles. Change is happening all around us, every second of the day and what we choose to focus on should provide a sense of savoring. It was said to me recently, "Those who have the ability to savor lead the happiest lives." Savor those moments that you are confronted with, both positive and negative. Its the balance of both that will allow a forward trajectory.

I will most likely re-visit the topic with my dad. I'll just have to find the right way to approach it to make it positive for both of us. After all change is good and learning to include and digest the emotions that come with change will make us that much better.

be silent, be still....

"shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......"

Over the last few days, maybe even week- I have been in quiet mode. Not that I am going around "shushing" other people, but I have more or less done that to myself. While all the noise is going on around me, I have taken a step back and listened. Not that I do not want to be part of the noise, but I want to be observant of the noise. This is the noise happens around us all the time and sometimes we choose to be part of it and sometimes we choose to ignore it, but rarely do we choose to observe it from a third party perspective. I have appreciated doing this over the last few days.

The noise around us is telling of who we are as individuals. What kind of environment do we surround our selves by? How can we harness the noise, and become one with it, to allow us a leap to our next endeavor? These are the curious questions that have come about from observing the noise. This noise has taken various forms... rain drops, car alarms, peoples footsteps, t.v. commercials and sirens, to name a few. The noise takes different shapes and sizes. What do they all mean and why are these noises happening, both independently and collectively?



This period of quiet time has started this wave of observation for me... and in a simple way I am learning more about me and tuning into the noises that I myself produce. My noises are not all pleasant, but the truth is I have to know about them for myself and address them from there.

At the end of the day, if when being observant the outcome is a pleasant listen of a light rainfall on the trees outside ones window... then consider that a win.

Honoring the body-

From the moment we can comprehend we know the body sends us signals about our well-being. As a toddler, the sound of a fart made us develop uncontrollable laughter... although that might continue into adulthood. The crackle of our voice in middle school, well something was evidently changing there. As time changes the body sends signals of pain and of joy, emotional and physical. We indulge in various activities that cause for a certain emotion and feeling to be produced within our body. Some feelings and emotions are not necessarily welcome, but they still send us a signal of how we are doing.

I have recently become a victim to a whirlwind of feelings within my own body. In training for the marathon I have managed to injure my IT Band and my TFL on my right leg. Soon after I started regularly doing yoga and then I came down with a cold/ upper respiratory infection, which has by now lasted for 3-weeks. Is my body trying to tell me something? I recently went to the doctor and realized that I have been to URGENT care 3 times this year. I tend to think of myself as a healthy, non-sickly person, but I guess my body begs to differ. It is at times like this that reassessing my routines and taking into consideration the smoke signals that are being sent to me via IT band and phlegm are truly important.

Our bodies are indeed wonderlands. we need to take time to listen carefully to the wants and needs of the body- truly and honorably care for one's self by simply listening to the body and not abusing it when it is sending signals, or ever for that matter. I pledge that from here on out, I will listen to my body and work to make it a better functioning machine for my own good, and where necessary reach a compromise.

Here's to honoring our bodies, of all shapes and all sizes.

Confronting fears...

Today I found myself pushing through a fear. I fear death. Not the act of dying, since that will happen to us all, but the concept of death after someone has died. I think im scarred a bit from past experiences and childhood memories of close relatives and loved ones who have passed on. Today I took a moment of repose... inside of a coffin....with the lid shut.

I was freaked out for a second. The first few moments, once the lid was shut I could think two things 1) Holy crap, I'm claustrophobic; and 2) This is where my uncle, cousin and grandfather have lied with their hands crossed in the same manner. I fought this thought. I psyched myself out a bit, just like I would when I was a kid. Before I would tell myself, "They are watching over me and taking care of me from above..." Today I thought, "I get to experience rest just as my loved ones have in the past, and in a similar space in which I am lying now, they still lie."

Changing my attitude about the situation and viewing it from a different perspective was all it took. You know, I was brought up with the idea that when someone dies, they go to heaven. The tradition was that for 9 days after the death we pray the rosary in hopes that the prayer would reserve their spot in heaven. We wore black to the funeral. We cry. We are sad. In my most recent experience of passing, my friend was provided a farewell celebration. A celebration of her life, which was a new approach to me and I really appreciated. Share stories. Cry. Laugh. Play music. Eat, Drink. Be merry. This was the first time that I was not scared after dealing with death. I knew it was going to a better place.

I guess its how the person who passes wants to be celebrated and it brings to mind: "How do I want my ceremony to be when I die?" and the reality of it is, I want to be celebrated as if I were still alive. A celebration of life at its best. Food, Live Music, Friends and Family, in a nice open space, games, laughter, creating more memories.

I think moving forward I am going to visit the coffin more often and just embrace it. Let it authentically represent itself in its finest form: a safe space.

My thoughts about the world we live in

It's a strange place made up of strange people.

Often times I come across a train of thoughts that makes me wonder about myself. Am I normal? What is normal? Why do people do things they do? Why do I do things I do? What's next? How does all this fit together? I definitely don't have all the answers all the time, besides the fact that I know that I am strange as well. Different. Unique!

I was in a yoga class a a few days ago and the instructor finished the class with saying "I don't know you all here, but I love you. Namaste" That stuck. I then realized how closed off I am, but here I thought that I am a pretty social and open person. This was confirmed when we were leaving the same yoga class and although I know 3 of the 45 people in the class, we did have a commonality. For the first few minutes when leaving the class I kept to myself and realized I didn't even make eye contact with people. Gotta change. I then show acknowledgment and appreciation of others... with the simple sight of my smile. After that yoga class I felt DAMN good. I was in euphoria. I even felt high, but I was just happy and I had to show that.

Sometimes I get frustrated with people for not being one way or another. Nonetheless people are the way they are and there has to be a common ground. Precisely the way that politicians manipulate their positions to the"middle" during elections, we too can compromise our beliefs a bit and resonate with others' beliefs.

The world we live in is in pain. There is hatred. People abuse their environments and the natural resources that we are so lucky to have. This is all TRUE and some choose not to consider these things. All that said, I think emphasizing a focus on the positive in our lives is important. Starting with one's self and ensuring that me, myself and I is good, then I can focus on everyone and everything else. Some might say this is selfishness at its best (and to be honest this is something I am working on also... I suffer from ES, extreme selflessness) BUT if we are not okay, everything generally seems to be worse.

I am reminded of times when I have been able to profoundly reflect on some of the many opportunities I have had in life. That is when I have assessed most of my personal growth and realized 'Yes , this changed my life and I feel good". Sometimes it take a special place to do this, or special people. Find what that is and do it. Reflect, write, compliment, smile, and be you.

Cheers.
Jm

The push to the finish line

Its been about 10 years since I decided that jogging would be the thing that I do. It started as a habit changer. In deciding to quit smoking and I took on running. Initially a quarter mile and I was huffing and puffing and sometimes had to walk the last .24 miles of my jog. A couple years into being a "runner", the thought of someday running a marathon entered the scene and here we are now in 2010, I am officially training for a marathon.

Going into week 9 of training I have had many "aHa" moments. Who would've known training for a marathon is as educational experience as it really is.

1. I have firstly learned that I can't eat whatever the helc I want. Gotta watch out, the dinner from the night before might be lurking around to spite you for the 5am jog.
2. You gotta listen to the signals your body gives you. All the bones and muscles in your body talk. You just gotta listen and respond accordingly, but still gotta push them to become stronger.
3. Santa Barbara has soo many places that are even more beautiful than the post cards. Running provides the opportunity to explore all of these places and I look forward to finding more gems in the next 9 weeks of training.
4. Time management is key. Since the need to follow your training program is huge, every run should be adhered to, meaning Friday nights means no outings and for most part have to get to bed early (before midnight).
   
5. the 8 glasses of water rule, so importante. In fact im siding with the 16 rule now.
6. Stretching is key. My muscles are very sore, all the time, but the pain in stretching reinforces comfort and strength later.
7. Company. Knowing that others are doing the same thing is helpful. I am running with a few friends that are also training for marathons and sharing experiences is helpful.
   
8. Establishing limits before starting. I have always been a SOLO runner, no talking, no music, set my own pace and just do it. Ive changed a bit- BUT still appreciate running alone on some occasions as it serves to clear my mind and is my way of "escaping".
   

I do not think that I will become a marathoner. I dont know. but what I do know is that I am very much appreciate of this experience in being able to push my body a bit. More so than I have in previous physical challenges. I know when I cross the finish line I will be nearly dead, but when I look back upon the 18 weeks of training, I will have accomplished a life long goal.

Until next time-
Jm

How to change the world....

Well this is the answer that is sought out by many. And I am no one to think I have the answer, I am looking for it myself. And what can one person do, right? Well, baby steps people. Large systematic change starts with one step forward, apparently. But what if you have a hard time taking that step forward for whatever reason? How do you work it out then?

In the last few years of my life I have struggled to define my purpose and know that it has to do something with creating change for the world. A lot of my heart lies with those that are at the bottom of the so-called pyramid. This aligned with my passions: travel, knowledge, food and bringing people together, have recently made me rethink what my next step will be. What does my life mean to this point and what would be most ideal as the next step.

I am 27 in a few days and when I was a kid, I thought that by this age I would have so much more accomplished. Times change. I change. So now I must bridge the 2 back together. This can be resolved with a little reflection, honesty with myself and a few glasses of wine...

Until next time.

http://www.mycharitywater.org/javier27

All of my birthdays have always been about stuff. Stuff I don't want, stuff I definitely don't need. And to be honest, I hardly even remember what I got last year.

So this year, I'M GIVING UP MY BIRTHDAY!!!

My birthday happens to be in less than one week. I'm turning 27 years old, and instead of asking for gifts, I'm asking for $27 or more from everyone I know. It's not going to me, though. All of it is going to build freshwater wells for people in developing nations.

A billion people in the world are living without clean water - but how much are they really living? Millions contract deadly diseases from contaminated water. 45,000 people will die this week alone. The lucky ones won't, but still walk hours each day to get dirty water to give to their families.

My birthday wish this year is not for more gifts I don't need; it's to give clean and safe drinking water to some of the billion living without it. I want to make my birthday matter this year.

Please join me.

please note: Because of charity: water's unique model, 100% of all donations go directly to direct water projects costs, and each donation is "proved" and tracked to the village it helped when projects are complete. This also happens to be the organization that I volunteered with for a little bit after I returned from living in London.

GO TO http://www.mycharitywater.org/javier27

Phases of Life.

Yesterday a dear friend, colleague and role model passed away. She embodied the idea of a free spirit, the definition of whole, nurturing and persistent. Even after she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer she was 110%, or at least she appeared that way and not much less. She had more strength than a lot of people I know.

I had the distinct pleasure and honor of working with Marty Fujita in organizing a fundraiser event for the thing which she was absolutely passionate about: locally grown food, the environment and child nutrition. She invited me into the family that she created at Food for Thought Ojai and allowed me to shine in the production of Locally Grown 3.

It was during this planning process for LG3 that Marty was diagnosed and initiated her frequent trips to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona. Trip after trip she would share with us her experience and who she had accompany her to the clinic on each occassion, sometimes her husband, sometimes her daughters sometimes one of her many friends or loved ones and each time was a promising story of betterment and success in battling cancer.

I remember mentioning that I would be traveling to Peru over the holidays, at the same time that she was planning her trip with her daughters in Indonesia. Sadly I would no be able to house sit for her then. Upon return from our trips we continually made arrangements for me to visit and have a feast with local fare, but as was often the case, I had to work.

I was saddened to not have had the opportunity to have a relaxing moment with Marty another time once I found that she had passed. Every thought that crossed my mind was "if only this" and "what if that". After the series of thoughts boiled down to the basics, I came to the realization that Marty was a grand woman. She was a grand dame. Her spirit. Her presence. Her smile. Her passion. It was felt.

Although not with us physically, everything that Marty was in touch with will continue to be defined by her. Her positive energy continues to shine through the colors that she has laid out as her footprint on earth and that will never fade.

To a beautiful woman, a positive role model, a good spirit and an ever lasting impression.

To the land of the Quechua

As many of you know, I decided to break tradition this year and spend the holidays away from my family and friends (except for Danny and Pam) and travel to Peru for 18 days for both Christmas and New Years. This being a life-long goal, or at least since I started discovering travel and knew what Peru had to offer and since opportunity knocked, I opened the door with arms wide open. Not to mention that I would be traveling with two of my closest friends, one of which was kind enough to open the comfort and sincerity of her family to us and introduce us to her family in Peru... THANK YOU PAM!

Initially I did not know what to think or expect, but once I arrived in Lima for the first 4 days of the trip, I started t resonate a lot with my living in Guadalajara. The city is very similar and the area that we were "living" in with our adoptive grandparents for the trip reminded me alot of walking around many parts of Mexico. The people, the food, the authenticity and the comfort that a different pace of life brings were all a few of the things that made me feel like it was a place I could remain at for ages from the get go. We spent Christmas eve enjoying a wonderful home-made Peruvian meal with an amazing rice dish that we had to get the recipe for. Although there were no pinatas, posadas nor tamales, welcoming Chirstmas in a different style was great, although I did miss my gramas tamales. The next couple of days in Lima were spent visisting the local market and seeing what we could find to see and/or eat; picarones (donut like fried dough with syrup), cebiche (peruvian style with sweet potato and seaweed), tortas (aka cake, not big mexican sandwiches and random fresh fruit and helado (always room for some ice cream)!



Next stop was Cusco for one night before starting the Inca Trail. The one thing that stuck for the first Cusco night was a headache. The slight change in altitude to 3800 meters from sea level caused a bit of a lingering pain in the temple area as well as slight drowsiness and blurry vision. Luckily, Coca Tea was readily available- we were welcomed by one cup of tea when checking in, of course I had about 6 and then had to pee every 5 minutes.. and I was able to bring some back home with me.


The 4 day hike on the Inca Trail was nothing short of amazing. Not only do I generally enjoy the outdoors, history and meeting people, but I was also very pleased with the opportunity to reflect on life in the comfort of nature. With the guidance of the Pacha Mama ( Mother Earth in Quechua) I made it up to 4200 meters in altitude after 2 days of rain with a fatigued knee and a 20lb back pack to the enlightening city of Machu Picchu. It was surreal. Even before arriving to Machu Picchu being in between massive peaks that make up the Andes and standing ABOVE the clouds (this doesn't happen unless I'm on a plane) was a beauty, but standing at the Puerta del Sol overlooking the Incan City of Machu Picchu was a revelation. You take it in and look at it and it still seems unreal, especially after hiking 44km.



After Machu Pichu we take a train back to Cusco and its time to celebrate New Years. We take a shower (after 5 days of not doing so, it felt damn good- although my own scent, and the scent of others, was starting to grow on me, LITERALLY) I also didn't shave for 1 week prior to departing for Peru and I didnt take a razor with me on the trip... Dinner was so memorable. We were thinking a nice sit down dinner, something to bring in the new year, but after turning left out of our hotel and onto the rainy streets, we were greeted by an abundance of street vendors selling "sanguiches" and "anticuchos" (cow heart skewers) we ate a lot of them and were pleasantly plump!


The night proceeded to celebrate new years with some of the friends we made during our hike. Meeting point: The golden Arches- McD's (yuck), but a landmark nonetheless. After polishing off a Camelback full of Vodka Redbull, a few beers and 2L bottle full of rum and coke (this was amongst a few of us), we were definitely welcoming the new year staying up until 4am. there is a tradition in Cusco in celebrating the new year where you RUN around the town square 12 times with empty luggage for good luck in travels in the coming year, sounded appealing and we tried. Except for the 1000's of people trying to do the same so the run was more of a wander and so we did one lap and counted that as 12. hope its not only January that I am given good luck for, otherwise I gotta get traveling....


2 days later we were off to Lake Titicaca. This was amazing. seeing a different way of life in modern society that wants nothing more than to continue living life like they do. On floating islands made of reed. eating mainly fish and only solar powered electricity operating the bare minimum. while on the island we got a break down of their day to day lives and got to tour in their "Mercedes" of transportation, a large reed boat with 2 levels. In this region of Peru we were meant to try Guinea Pig, but we failed.. it was raining and wandering around the streets of Puno wasnt the most recommended thing to do according to Lonely Planet.



After the islands we head back to Lima for the last leg of our trip. It was a lot of winding down, but also trying to eat all of the Peruvian eats that were on the list that we created. I am proud to say that we ate nearly all of the typical Peruvian dishes and eats that there are... a lot of thanks to Pam's Grama, a great cook she is. While back in Peru we did a bit of shopping and spent some time on the roads of the city. If you think the 405 is bad or driving in Tijuana or Manhattan is bad, go drive in Lima. This is definitely the place for a driver with a big, stubborn ego... "I own the road" is the mentality that the 8 million people in the city have. Interesting experience.

Upon return to the states, it had not set in that I had just traveled to a revered place of the world. One of the 7 new wonders of the world. a place that many people will never see. a country rich in culture, food and topographical beauty. I had visited Peru and was excited that I would be able to share my experience with others. Equally as much as I enjoy hearing stories of friends and family who travel to new and unknown places, I wanted to share and will continue to do so as long as the memories are fresh. If any of you are considering a trip to south america, do not leave Peru out of your plans. You will not regret visiting a beautiful country with great things to offer. Now, where to next?