My Inheritance

Little did I know I would be receiving an inheritance. Little did I know I would become so rich over the last couple months and be able to continue to pay it forward in as authentic a manner as I am discovering.

When my grandmother passed away a few weeks back, I, along with the rest of my family, lost something immensely impactful that we will never gain back. My grandmother was a woman of strong presence, of grand character and one who's heart and smile was bigger than it ever needed to be at any point. It was through these characteristics that she was able to raise 9 children (on her own for a large part of their upbringing) and instill these same values she lived into her 20+ grandchildren. Not only was family and family togetherness the number one thing on her mind, but the well being of the general community and her neighbors. She fed the homeless, fed the ducks at the local park, made friends with bus drivers and mail deliverers, and helped encourage community through her devout faith.



My grandmother was a servant of God. Since anyone can remember she was praying and was consistent in her actions of embodying a true christian. She embodied a spiritual person that never imposed it upon others and made her spirituality part of her every day actions. Her prerogative was simply to live life in a good way that would allow her to rest at the end of the day knowing that she herself had connected with God. She did. Every day.

It was through this manner that she was able to affect so much more than just herself and her lifestyle... She affected all that came across her. She was well loved, well respected and overall she was regarded in the community and in her family as a great individual. She created community and she did it without question. When she was around, family drew near. When she was at home, her neighbors came to visit. She brought people together with her warm energy and her good cooking. She taught kids the things she knew, which included anything from cooking, to crocheting, to praying, to whatver she learned that day. Always paying it forward.

It is this warm spirit and ability to create community and give back that I have taken as my inheritance. Some people get material goods as an inheritance. I prefer to have this energy and legacy of a woman as my inheritance. I will miss my grandma dearly... I already do.

Celebrating Spring

Spring forward and Fall backward. Phrases that we heard time and time again with reference to our clocks and what to do with them when switching the time. Time aside, springing forward is also an opportunity to do that to one's self. It seems that during the spring, so many opportunities present themselves in various forms, that there is abundance in life.



I like spring. I like it a lot. Food, friends, outdoor time, music, laughter.... this all seems to increase during the spring and it almost causes for spirits to spring into life. Over the last few weeks, spring has granted me the opportunity to do a plethora of activities that have defined my spring of 2011, making it more and more memorable as days continue.



I wonder though, if the reason that I am in la vie en rose, so to speak, is because I am more appreciate of what I do have versus what I do not have. I wonder if my jovial outlook on life and the fact that I am making more of an effort to just be, have anything to do with things feeling SO much better. I want to think it is true and I will believe it is true. Eff what others think and eff social norm.... in a perverse selfish manner- its about how I feel and my own outlook.



I like feeling good. I enjoy being satisfied with what Ive got and being more simple. Its good for me and you and them and that, I think. Until something else comes along, I am going to continue to enjoy the Spring and just be, whilst I enjoy everything that comes my way. Here's to eating, drinking, and being merry.

The end of this cycle

Every so often we have the opportunity to reflect on life and see what we have made of it, where we are at with it, and where we want to take it next. This past year has been one that will undoubtedly go down in the books as another good one, but it will also be one when looking back that will be remembered as a pivotal year for life changes.

2010 started off with a short exploration of a new culture in Peru. I had the gracious opportunity to travel with two great friends to an unknown land to me. Not only was the opportunity to visit fantastic, but the people I traveled with and the people I met there will remain in my soul and heart for ever. Bringing in the new year in Cusco with our friends the Argentinians, Peruvians and all the other strangers from around the world was a moment not to forget, and not just because we were in a foreign land.

Over the course of the year Santa Barbara, CA started becoming more and more like home. Having been away from CA for 5 years and not living anywhere for more than 11 months (London) I started to get the itch to leave Santa Barbara at around the year mark. This worked in an opposite form. I started gaining more responsibility at work, I started becoming comfortable with my living situation and I was settling into the neighborhood (i.e Melrose Place). How could I leave?

Mid year 2010 I had a roommate swap. Barbara moved out and Mike moved in. Change is good and nothing in life is constant nor forever. Summer for Melrose Place was themed "Slut it Up!" and although there was very, very little of anything related to the theme going on, at least for me- I felt as though the summer months were all a vacation with good friends on a seaside town... game nights, dinner parties, spontaneous adventures, hikes, and ultimately good memories.

As work continued to pick up steam, my role continued to develop to set me up towards acquiring more responsibility towards year-end. During the third quarter of the year a time of intensive reflection came upon me. That is when this blog became more prevalent, when I injured my knee during my marathon training and when yoga became a common thread in my life. This has allowed to be more intentional with life and my actions. It has allowed me to explore me and really get to know Javier Moreno a whole lot better. Things are shaping up. I dont think I know every bit of me yet, but I sure am working hard at doing so.


This brings me to present day and I continue to be in love with my life. Many people have commented that they wish they had my life and I would question back, "why?". Im starting to come to terms with the fact that I do lead a pretty darn good life. I have great family and friends. I have a great job and great co-workers. I live in a beautiful city. I enjoy good food and drink. Above all else, I realize that I am happy with life as a whole and that allows me to enjoy the present day so much more. I still have a lot of reality to come to terms with and a lot of excavating of myself.

For this very reason of wanting to find out more I am setting myself up with a few resolutions for the new year.

1. I will be more intentional and authentic in my actions
2. I will reflect on my daily activity through this blog and other means
3. I will get to know my subconscious self and start to visit with my dreams
4. I will assess my career and career path more holistically
5. I will be more conscious about what goes into my body
6. I will be more conscious about the environmental impact I have on the world and aim to influence others to do the same
7. I will connect with old friends and write more letters to mail to them
8. Most importantly, I will strive to maintain happiness day in and day out.

I am well aware that sometimes things don't work out as planned, and in those cases it's rolling with the punches. Everything happens for a reason and its about accepting truth and reality with arms wide open.

2011 will be a good year and I look forward to the growth that will happen in the years ahead.


Happy New Year.

Jm

Feeling better when you already feel good

There are some days that don’t seem like they can get any better. You are thoroughly enjoying your company. You reflect on your day and you feel damn good. You have great conversation and it is meaningful. And then, things get better… Is that normal? Does that ever really happen? Well I can attest to this.

All signs reading “go”, all lights turned green and energy is flowing positively when I make an effort to connect with an elderly woman that was sitting next to me on a flight back to Santa Barbara. I overheard when she told another woman that she was from Mexico. I thought this would be a more than appropriate topic to connect on and surely it was. This woman resulted in having the most of uplifting spirits and in more than one way did she reiterate the need to look at things positively.

We shared various stories related to travel, politics, family and the like, all of which resulted in my reassurance that having a positive outlook on things is truly rewarding. This woman who was in her 80’s and potentially even a relative (as her name was Isabel Moreno) provided me with reinforcement for true and authentic carpe diem, all in the context of great conversation.

Isabel bid farewell to both of us who were sitting next to her and mentioned that taking this opportunity to have a short lived relationship was a great blessing to her. I agreed.

In the recent past, I have come across individuals and moments that have initiated a thought process of holistic assessment of things and in a way allowed for me to “set a precedent” to keep a positive outlook. I have not read my horoscope lately, but I feel like the cosmos are in a particular formation causing for Pisces to have plentiful reflection and opportunity to keep a positive outlook on situations. I welcome more of this, whatever it is that is happening right now.

The guy at the bar

Being true to yourself is not always easy. Sometimes it is one of the most difficult, yet revealing things that we can do: being true and honest with oneself. In the last few days I have embarked on a detox program, that truly is not that extreme in terms of guidelines, but it does push your limits. My menu does not currently include many of the things that it normally does for my regular diet before I started this program (wine and beer, cheese, chocolate bars, bread) so in having recently hone out to public places, I have had to conform my menu to theirs.

While at a mellow neighborhood bar in Santa Barbara this past weekend, I was offered a beer many times. Thanks, but I am okay. Eventually I found my way to the bar and while listening to the wondrous beats of Sleighbells (whom I only recently discovered), I decided tea would be my cuppa that night. Chamomile tea, please! I pulled the Scrabble board game that was sitting on the game shelf in the bar and proceeded to create various 3-4 letter words.

Other times, I am tossing back G&Ts or IPAs and carrying on conversations left and right. I eat peanuts to compliment whatever I am drinking. This time: I was almost at a point of meditation while at a bar outing. It was NICE. I was with good company and mentally stimulating myself on a Friday night without the "traditional" desire to spend $50 on inebriating substances.

While this experience was only the first of many, I am sure. I found that I was "that guy" sitting at the bar, sipping away at my tea while most others were getting canned on wine and beer. It was even harmonious to be doing such an act that was a little more foreign to me. I plan to continue being that guy who orders tea... and secretly wishing he was having a glass of wine.

When change happens...

Recently I have found myself surrounded by change. Loose change in my pockets, the leaves on trees starting to change slightly in color, co-workers being let go, my little sister getting engaged, getting to know myself better through exploring that which I connect with, watching and feeling the weather get cooler... it's all relevant change.

It is when this change happens and how we react to it that makes a big difference. I spoke to my father this evening and after a little while of shooting the shit we were about to hang-up and then I interrupted with an inquiry as to his feelings regarding the recent engagement. Now my father has never really been one to show emotion. I can count on my fingers the number of times I have really seen the emotional heart of my dad. His response to my question resembled his common state of being: neutral. I pushed him to expose himself a bit. I want to see him really be into what he was thinking, but he digressed.

We all make decisions to not fully involve ourselves in life experiences to our full extent, if we did pour all of our energy, heart and soul into everything we did every single day, either we would be extremely drained and really tired, or we would need to slow WAY down. Nonetheless, my feeling is that in this "fast paced" life many of us live in (whether we want to or not) we have to choose our battles. Change is happening all around us, every second of the day and what we choose to focus on should provide a sense of savoring. It was said to me recently, "Those who have the ability to savor lead the happiest lives." Savor those moments that you are confronted with, both positive and negative. Its the balance of both that will allow a forward trajectory.

I will most likely re-visit the topic with my dad. I'll just have to find the right way to approach it to make it positive for both of us. After all change is good and learning to include and digest the emotions that come with change will make us that much better.

be silent, be still....

"shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......"

Over the last few days, maybe even week- I have been in quiet mode. Not that I am going around "shushing" other people, but I have more or less done that to myself. While all the noise is going on around me, I have taken a step back and listened. Not that I do not want to be part of the noise, but I want to be observant of the noise. This is the noise happens around us all the time and sometimes we choose to be part of it and sometimes we choose to ignore it, but rarely do we choose to observe it from a third party perspective. I have appreciated doing this over the last few days.

The noise around us is telling of who we are as individuals. What kind of environment do we surround our selves by? How can we harness the noise, and become one with it, to allow us a leap to our next endeavor? These are the curious questions that have come about from observing the noise. This noise has taken various forms... rain drops, car alarms, peoples footsteps, t.v. commercials and sirens, to name a few. The noise takes different shapes and sizes. What do they all mean and why are these noises happening, both independently and collectively?



This period of quiet time has started this wave of observation for me... and in a simple way I am learning more about me and tuning into the noises that I myself produce. My noises are not all pleasant, but the truth is I have to know about them for myself and address them from there.

At the end of the day, if when being observant the outcome is a pleasant listen of a light rainfall on the trees outside ones window... then consider that a win.