Confronting fears...

Today I found myself pushing through a fear. I fear death. Not the act of dying, since that will happen to us all, but the concept of death after someone has died. I think im scarred a bit from past experiences and childhood memories of close relatives and loved ones who have passed on. Today I took a moment of repose... inside of a coffin....with the lid shut.

I was freaked out for a second. The first few moments, once the lid was shut I could think two things 1) Holy crap, I'm claustrophobic; and 2) This is where my uncle, cousin and grandfather have lied with their hands crossed in the same manner. I fought this thought. I psyched myself out a bit, just like I would when I was a kid. Before I would tell myself, "They are watching over me and taking care of me from above..." Today I thought, "I get to experience rest just as my loved ones have in the past, and in a similar space in which I am lying now, they still lie."

Changing my attitude about the situation and viewing it from a different perspective was all it took. You know, I was brought up with the idea that when someone dies, they go to heaven. The tradition was that for 9 days after the death we pray the rosary in hopes that the prayer would reserve their spot in heaven. We wore black to the funeral. We cry. We are sad. In my most recent experience of passing, my friend was provided a farewell celebration. A celebration of her life, which was a new approach to me and I really appreciated. Share stories. Cry. Laugh. Play music. Eat, Drink. Be merry. This was the first time that I was not scared after dealing with death. I knew it was going to a better place.

I guess its how the person who passes wants to be celebrated and it brings to mind: "How do I want my ceremony to be when I die?" and the reality of it is, I want to be celebrated as if I were still alive. A celebration of life at its best. Food, Live Music, Friends and Family, in a nice open space, games, laughter, creating more memories.

I think moving forward I am going to visit the coffin more often and just embrace it. Let it authentically represent itself in its finest form: a safe space.

My thoughts about the world we live in

It's a strange place made up of strange people.

Often times I come across a train of thoughts that makes me wonder about myself. Am I normal? What is normal? Why do people do things they do? Why do I do things I do? What's next? How does all this fit together? I definitely don't have all the answers all the time, besides the fact that I know that I am strange as well. Different. Unique!

I was in a yoga class a a few days ago and the instructor finished the class with saying "I don't know you all here, but I love you. Namaste" That stuck. I then realized how closed off I am, but here I thought that I am a pretty social and open person. This was confirmed when we were leaving the same yoga class and although I know 3 of the 45 people in the class, we did have a commonality. For the first few minutes when leaving the class I kept to myself and realized I didn't even make eye contact with people. Gotta change. I then show acknowledgment and appreciation of others... with the simple sight of my smile. After that yoga class I felt DAMN good. I was in euphoria. I even felt high, but I was just happy and I had to show that.

Sometimes I get frustrated with people for not being one way or another. Nonetheless people are the way they are and there has to be a common ground. Precisely the way that politicians manipulate their positions to the"middle" during elections, we too can compromise our beliefs a bit and resonate with others' beliefs.

The world we live in is in pain. There is hatred. People abuse their environments and the natural resources that we are so lucky to have. This is all TRUE and some choose not to consider these things. All that said, I think emphasizing a focus on the positive in our lives is important. Starting with one's self and ensuring that me, myself and I is good, then I can focus on everyone and everything else. Some might say this is selfishness at its best (and to be honest this is something I am working on also... I suffer from ES, extreme selflessness) BUT if we are not okay, everything generally seems to be worse.

I am reminded of times when I have been able to profoundly reflect on some of the many opportunities I have had in life. That is when I have assessed most of my personal growth and realized 'Yes , this changed my life and I feel good". Sometimes it take a special place to do this, or special people. Find what that is and do it. Reflect, write, compliment, smile, and be you.

Cheers.
Jm

The push to the finish line

Its been about 10 years since I decided that jogging would be the thing that I do. It started as a habit changer. In deciding to quit smoking and I took on running. Initially a quarter mile and I was huffing and puffing and sometimes had to walk the last .24 miles of my jog. A couple years into being a "runner", the thought of someday running a marathon entered the scene and here we are now in 2010, I am officially training for a marathon.

Going into week 9 of training I have had many "aHa" moments. Who would've known training for a marathon is as educational experience as it really is.

1. I have firstly learned that I can't eat whatever the helc I want. Gotta watch out, the dinner from the night before might be lurking around to spite you for the 5am jog.
2. You gotta listen to the signals your body gives you. All the bones and muscles in your body talk. You just gotta listen and respond accordingly, but still gotta push them to become stronger.
3. Santa Barbara has soo many places that are even more beautiful than the post cards. Running provides the opportunity to explore all of these places and I look forward to finding more gems in the next 9 weeks of training.
4. Time management is key. Since the need to follow your training program is huge, every run should be adhered to, meaning Friday nights means no outings and for most part have to get to bed early (before midnight).
   
5. the 8 glasses of water rule, so importante. In fact im siding with the 16 rule now.
6. Stretching is key. My muscles are very sore, all the time, but the pain in stretching reinforces comfort and strength later.
7. Company. Knowing that others are doing the same thing is helpful. I am running with a few friends that are also training for marathons and sharing experiences is helpful.
   
8. Establishing limits before starting. I have always been a SOLO runner, no talking, no music, set my own pace and just do it. Ive changed a bit- BUT still appreciate running alone on some occasions as it serves to clear my mind and is my way of "escaping".
   

I do not think that I will become a marathoner. I dont know. but what I do know is that I am very much appreciate of this experience in being able to push my body a bit. More so than I have in previous physical challenges. I know when I cross the finish line I will be nearly dead, but when I look back upon the 18 weeks of training, I will have accomplished a life long goal.

Until next time-
Jm

How to change the world....

Well this is the answer that is sought out by many. And I am no one to think I have the answer, I am looking for it myself. And what can one person do, right? Well, baby steps people. Large systematic change starts with one step forward, apparently. But what if you have a hard time taking that step forward for whatever reason? How do you work it out then?

In the last few years of my life I have struggled to define my purpose and know that it has to do something with creating change for the world. A lot of my heart lies with those that are at the bottom of the so-called pyramid. This aligned with my passions: travel, knowledge, food and bringing people together, have recently made me rethink what my next step will be. What does my life mean to this point and what would be most ideal as the next step.

I am 27 in a few days and when I was a kid, I thought that by this age I would have so much more accomplished. Times change. I change. So now I must bridge the 2 back together. This can be resolved with a little reflection, honesty with myself and a few glasses of wine...

Until next time.

http://www.mycharitywater.org/javier27

All of my birthdays have always been about stuff. Stuff I don't want, stuff I definitely don't need. And to be honest, I hardly even remember what I got last year.

So this year, I'M GIVING UP MY BIRTHDAY!!!

My birthday happens to be in less than one week. I'm turning 27 years old, and instead of asking for gifts, I'm asking for $27 or more from everyone I know. It's not going to me, though. All of it is going to build freshwater wells for people in developing nations.

A billion people in the world are living without clean water - but how much are they really living? Millions contract deadly diseases from contaminated water. 45,000 people will die this week alone. The lucky ones won't, but still walk hours each day to get dirty water to give to their families.

My birthday wish this year is not for more gifts I don't need; it's to give clean and safe drinking water to some of the billion living without it. I want to make my birthday matter this year.

Please join me.

please note: Because of charity: water's unique model, 100% of all donations go directly to direct water projects costs, and each donation is "proved" and tracked to the village it helped when projects are complete. This also happens to be the organization that I volunteered with for a little bit after I returned from living in London.

GO TO http://www.mycharitywater.org/javier27

Phases of Life.

Yesterday a dear friend, colleague and role model passed away. She embodied the idea of a free spirit, the definition of whole, nurturing and persistent. Even after she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer she was 110%, or at least she appeared that way and not much less. She had more strength than a lot of people I know.

I had the distinct pleasure and honor of working with Marty Fujita in organizing a fundraiser event for the thing which she was absolutely passionate about: locally grown food, the environment and child nutrition. She invited me into the family that she created at Food for Thought Ojai and allowed me to shine in the production of Locally Grown 3.

It was during this planning process for LG3 that Marty was diagnosed and initiated her frequent trips to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona. Trip after trip she would share with us her experience and who she had accompany her to the clinic on each occassion, sometimes her husband, sometimes her daughters sometimes one of her many friends or loved ones and each time was a promising story of betterment and success in battling cancer.

I remember mentioning that I would be traveling to Peru over the holidays, at the same time that she was planning her trip with her daughters in Indonesia. Sadly I would no be able to house sit for her then. Upon return from our trips we continually made arrangements for me to visit and have a feast with local fare, but as was often the case, I had to work.

I was saddened to not have had the opportunity to have a relaxing moment with Marty another time once I found that she had passed. Every thought that crossed my mind was "if only this" and "what if that". After the series of thoughts boiled down to the basics, I came to the realization that Marty was a grand woman. She was a grand dame. Her spirit. Her presence. Her smile. Her passion. It was felt.

Although not with us physically, everything that Marty was in touch with will continue to be defined by her. Her positive energy continues to shine through the colors that she has laid out as her footprint on earth and that will never fade.

To a beautiful woman, a positive role model, a good spirit and an ever lasting impression.

To the land of the Quechua

As many of you know, I decided to break tradition this year and spend the holidays away from my family and friends (except for Danny and Pam) and travel to Peru for 18 days for both Christmas and New Years. This being a life-long goal, or at least since I started discovering travel and knew what Peru had to offer and since opportunity knocked, I opened the door with arms wide open. Not to mention that I would be traveling with two of my closest friends, one of which was kind enough to open the comfort and sincerity of her family to us and introduce us to her family in Peru... THANK YOU PAM!

Initially I did not know what to think or expect, but once I arrived in Lima for the first 4 days of the trip, I started t resonate a lot with my living in Guadalajara. The city is very similar and the area that we were "living" in with our adoptive grandparents for the trip reminded me alot of walking around many parts of Mexico. The people, the food, the authenticity and the comfort that a different pace of life brings were all a few of the things that made me feel like it was a place I could remain at for ages from the get go. We spent Christmas eve enjoying a wonderful home-made Peruvian meal with an amazing rice dish that we had to get the recipe for. Although there were no pinatas, posadas nor tamales, welcoming Chirstmas in a different style was great, although I did miss my gramas tamales. The next couple of days in Lima were spent visisting the local market and seeing what we could find to see and/or eat; picarones (donut like fried dough with syrup), cebiche (peruvian style with sweet potato and seaweed), tortas (aka cake, not big mexican sandwiches and random fresh fruit and helado (always room for some ice cream)!



Next stop was Cusco for one night before starting the Inca Trail. The one thing that stuck for the first Cusco night was a headache. The slight change in altitude to 3800 meters from sea level caused a bit of a lingering pain in the temple area as well as slight drowsiness and blurry vision. Luckily, Coca Tea was readily available- we were welcomed by one cup of tea when checking in, of course I had about 6 and then had to pee every 5 minutes.. and I was able to bring some back home with me.


The 4 day hike on the Inca Trail was nothing short of amazing. Not only do I generally enjoy the outdoors, history and meeting people, but I was also very pleased with the opportunity to reflect on life in the comfort of nature. With the guidance of the Pacha Mama ( Mother Earth in Quechua) I made it up to 4200 meters in altitude after 2 days of rain with a fatigued knee and a 20lb back pack to the enlightening city of Machu Picchu. It was surreal. Even before arriving to Machu Picchu being in between massive peaks that make up the Andes and standing ABOVE the clouds (this doesn't happen unless I'm on a plane) was a beauty, but standing at the Puerta del Sol overlooking the Incan City of Machu Picchu was a revelation. You take it in and look at it and it still seems unreal, especially after hiking 44km.



After Machu Pichu we take a train back to Cusco and its time to celebrate New Years. We take a shower (after 5 days of not doing so, it felt damn good- although my own scent, and the scent of others, was starting to grow on me, LITERALLY) I also didn't shave for 1 week prior to departing for Peru and I didnt take a razor with me on the trip... Dinner was so memorable. We were thinking a nice sit down dinner, something to bring in the new year, but after turning left out of our hotel and onto the rainy streets, we were greeted by an abundance of street vendors selling "sanguiches" and "anticuchos" (cow heart skewers) we ate a lot of them and were pleasantly plump!


The night proceeded to celebrate new years with some of the friends we made during our hike. Meeting point: The golden Arches- McD's (yuck), but a landmark nonetheless. After polishing off a Camelback full of Vodka Redbull, a few beers and 2L bottle full of rum and coke (this was amongst a few of us), we were definitely welcoming the new year staying up until 4am. there is a tradition in Cusco in celebrating the new year where you RUN around the town square 12 times with empty luggage for good luck in travels in the coming year, sounded appealing and we tried. Except for the 1000's of people trying to do the same so the run was more of a wander and so we did one lap and counted that as 12. hope its not only January that I am given good luck for, otherwise I gotta get traveling....


2 days later we were off to Lake Titicaca. This was amazing. seeing a different way of life in modern society that wants nothing more than to continue living life like they do. On floating islands made of reed. eating mainly fish and only solar powered electricity operating the bare minimum. while on the island we got a break down of their day to day lives and got to tour in their "Mercedes" of transportation, a large reed boat with 2 levels. In this region of Peru we were meant to try Guinea Pig, but we failed.. it was raining and wandering around the streets of Puno wasnt the most recommended thing to do according to Lonely Planet.



After the islands we head back to Lima for the last leg of our trip. It was a lot of winding down, but also trying to eat all of the Peruvian eats that were on the list that we created. I am proud to say that we ate nearly all of the typical Peruvian dishes and eats that there are... a lot of thanks to Pam's Grama, a great cook she is. While back in Peru we did a bit of shopping and spent some time on the roads of the city. If you think the 405 is bad or driving in Tijuana or Manhattan is bad, go drive in Lima. This is definitely the place for a driver with a big, stubborn ego... "I own the road" is the mentality that the 8 million people in the city have. Interesting experience.

Upon return to the states, it had not set in that I had just traveled to a revered place of the world. One of the 7 new wonders of the world. a place that many people will never see. a country rich in culture, food and topographical beauty. I had visited Peru and was excited that I would be able to share my experience with others. Equally as much as I enjoy hearing stories of friends and family who travel to new and unknown places, I wanted to share and will continue to do so as long as the memories are fresh. If any of you are considering a trip to south america, do not leave Peru out of your plans. You will not regret visiting a beautiful country with great things to offer. Now, where to next?